One other yr is about to be consigned to the dustbin of historical past however earlier than the clock runs out, let’s check out the worst takes of 2024!
AI boosters
If you realize something in regards to the Macalope, you knew this was going to be in right here.
First was the refrain of individuals who mentioned “Apple is behind on AI”! When corporations are speeding merchandise to market that don’t have any discernible income path, routinely present outcomes which are flawed and even harmful and are constructed upon stolen info, one wonders if this isn’t one thing you ought to be “behind” on. Possibly subsequent yr we’ll hear about how Apple’s behind on constructing the Torment Nexus.
As if this no-legged stool wasn’t a questionable sufficient place to sit down your butt on, we had analysts who claimed this miracle of science would spur a smartphone super-cycle, boosting gross sales and income for any firm that was in a position to ship this life-changing expertise.
That didn’t occur.
Nonetheless, a couple of firm growing an AI pin had gobs of enterprise capital cash shot at them out of a t-shirt canon. And the way did that prove?
“The Worst Product I’ve Ever Reviewed… For Now”
Simply months after the hype fizzle, persons are questioning if AI is even going to have the ability to get any higher anytime quickly. Seems the “wait and see” method may need been the sensible one. Shock.
Nonetheless, there are some AI takes we will agree on. A number of AI executives complained this yr that they’ll’t make their product except they’ve free entry to copyrighted materials. Nice! We’re in settlement! You received’t make your product and we’ll maintain our copyrighted materials! Glad we had this chat.
AI itself
Talking of dangerous takes and AI, how in regards to the dangerous takes AI itself delivered in 2024?
Google’s AI, simply for example, instructed individuals eat glue and rocks. OK, that’s only one occasion. As a counterpoint, when requested in the event you may use gasoline to prepare dinner spaghetti sooner, its reply was an emphatic “No!”
If it had solely stopped there.
No, you’ll be able to’t use gasoline to prepare dinner spaghetti sooner, however you should use gasoline to make a spicy spaghetti dish.
No! No, you’ll be able to’t! OK, the Macalope has by no means drunk gasoline, however he’s fairly certain it’s not going to make a dish “spicier”.
Apple Intelligence was not proof against such flights of… nope, not “fancy”… nothing “fancy” about placing gasoline in your spaghetti. That’s shack residing. How about “flights of flimflamery”?
Sure, Apple Intelligence incorrectly instructed that the alleged murderer of the CEO of United Healthcare had killed himself.
And nonetheless Tim Cook dinner says he loves summaries.
IDG
Apple’s advert division
Apple’s advert division’s first gaffe this yr was the notorious “Crush” advert. It was meant to point all the good, inventive issues you are able to do with an iPad. The one downside was it form of despatched a blended message by actually crushing all of these issues in an enormous industrial hydraulic press.
Metaphors. How do they work?
Apple even moist as far as to concern an apology for that one.
Then, simply final month, Apple ran a number of Apple Intelligence advertisements that includes individuals utilizing AI to compensate for his or her obnoxious character flaws. Message: “Are you a jerk? Have we received an answer for you!”
May need needed to run that by way of one other assessment.
The U.S. Division of Justice
Whereas the Macalope will surely say Apple may benefit from slightly legislative steering in how you can conduct a few of its affairs (cough App Retailer cough), the swimsuit in opposition to the corporate introduced by the U.S. Division of Justice again in March wrecks itself earlier than it checks itself. Decrying Apple’s supposed domination of the auto trade with CarPlay after which taking credit score for all of Apple’s successes as a result of it took motion in opposition to Microsoft within the early 2000s are apparently issues you’ll be able to write with out exploding from a lethal buildup of nonsensium. Who knew?
GM doubles down
It was 2023 when GM introduced that it was eschewing CarPlay, even going as far as to say it was for “security” causes. However the firm apparently remains to be making an attempt to eat its personal pet food which will not be a metaphor. A few of their actions typically make you assume they could truly be consuming pet food, cat meals, no matter occurs to simply be sitting there once they’re hungry.
Regardless of shedding two key executives, together with Apple’s former head of Cloud Providers, Mike Abbott, after which shedding greater than 1,000 software program engineers, GM says that is all a part of its grand plan of “daring selections” to personal the consumer expertise.
Effectively, you realize what they are saying. You broke it…
Tim Sweeney
Final however not least is Epic CEO Tim Sweeney. Oh, not for something he mentioned about his firm’s struggle with Apple over making an attempt to set its personal app retailer up on iOS, though we may in all probability get one or two gems out of that mess, too.
No, his worst take of the yr is when he complained in regards to the time his MacBook received stolen and he may see the place it was due to Tremendous My.
This function is tremendous creepy surveillance tech and shouldn’t exist. Years in the past, a child stole a Mac laptop computer out of my automotive. Years later, I used to be trying out Discover My and it confirmed a map with the home the place the child who stole my Mac lived. WTF Apple? How is that okay?!
It’s left as much as the reader to resolve if he simply hates something Apple makes or is so drunk on libertarianism that when somebody steals his laptop computer he simply says “I’ve been bested within the market of getting issues whereas the getting is sweet! Good for him!”
These are the worst takes of 2024. Can’t wait to see what 2025 brings!
I feel.
